Thursday, January 10, 2008
When The Handyman Can't, Dave Chapelle Can
My handyman has turned out to be a disaster. A small number of fairly routine house repairs that were supposed to be done a week before Christmas are still not completed. He keeps telling me he's going to show and then doesn't, and I can't reach him for days. He claims he has gout and is on medication that is making him all wonky, but not so wonky, apparently, that he didn't trick me into already paying him before the end of the year while assuring me he'd be at the house during the week between Christmas and New Year's to finish up. He never showed.
So he is at the house today, calling me every hour because he's lost the list of jobs I wanted done, and I am really starting to lose my patience with his continuing "I'm just trying to do a favour to a pretty single mother" line of defence. So yes, I snapped. It went along these lines:
"First of all, don't worry about me being a single mother, OK? I'll worry about that. Secondly, what favours have you done me? I've paid for eight hours of work and you've been to the house a total of three hours and haven't completed half the jobs I wanted done. So you're doing me no favours. Just complete the jobs that I asked for, don't say you're coming and then never show up, and stop pretending you're doing me any favours and giving me any breaks. Because you're not." I haven't heard from him since. Eldon is a goof.
I am so riled up that I needed to watch some Dave Chapelle to chill. I urge you to check this out.
"I PLEAD DA FIF!!!"