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Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Today's Tennis Hottie
Roger Federer doesn't do much for me facially speaking. But this sinewy frame? Yes please!
5 comments:
southoftheborder
said...
Jacy, I'm interested on your take of today's article in the Globe, "Beware the Runaway Husband." The author received some very critical comments, but in my world here in the suburbs, I don't know of one woman who left her husband. But I sure do know of many who were left suddenly by their man (I have a friend who's a divorce lawyer and will attest to this as well).
Well firstly, I don't think it's a gender issue. I think both men and women leave marriages in equal measure. But I also believe that it's true that women usually leave for themselves, and men leave for someone else. In my situation that's been true.
There was a lot about my breakup that didn't fit this pattern, things that were unique to our relationship, terrible mistakes we both made. But I was in it for life and willing to keep working on it for as long as it took, believing we could survive, he wasn't and didn't.
And this line in particular resonated:
"Abruptly cutting friends, lovers and relatives out of one's life is a warning sign, Ms. Stark says." I don't do that -- I stay in touch and hang in far too long with anyone I care about or once cared about. He is the opposite, and that tendency of his always made me very, very nervous, because I am very protective of myself due to a terrible past trauma, and it made it impossible for me to trust him. That whole vicious circle caused us many, many problems, and perhaps became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Funny, a friend of mine is falling for a guy right now and the warnings signs are loud and huge. The pattern is unbelievable; his attempts to justify a lifetime of awful treatment of the women in his life are incredulous. I don't want to be a total hag, but I really want to urge her to run and run fast. I was going to blog on it tomorrow.
Yes, I agree, men seem much more able and willing to just cut and run when the going gets rough. I hope you find someone brave enough to hang in there with you. As bad as my marriage has been at times, in the end I cannot imagine our shared history being gone in a puff of smoke. Altho I am not naive enough to think it couldn't happen just like that.
It does feel like just a puff of smoke. It all just disappeared. I thought he was my best friend, but he was not. I wonder now if he ever loved me, and maybe that was another thing about him that made me nervous -- just not ever quite believing he loved me for me and not for what I represented.
5 comments:
Jacy, I'm interested on your take of today's article in the Globe, "Beware the Runaway Husband." The author received some very critical comments, but in my world here in the suburbs, I don't know of one woman who left her husband. But I sure do know of many who were left suddenly by their man (I have a friend who's a divorce lawyer and will attest to this as well).
Hmmmm.
Well firstly, I don't think it's a gender issue. I think both men and women leave marriages in equal measure. But I also believe that it's true that women usually leave for themselves, and men leave for someone else. In my situation that's been true.
There was a lot about my breakup that didn't fit this pattern, things that were unique to our relationship, terrible mistakes we both made. But I was in it for life and willing to keep working on it for as long as it took, believing we could survive, he wasn't and didn't.
And this line in particular resonated:
"Abruptly cutting friends, lovers and relatives out of one's life is a warning sign, Ms. Stark says." I don't do that -- I stay in touch and hang in far too long with anyone I care about or once cared about. He is the opposite, and that tendency of his always made me very, very nervous, because I am very protective of myself due to a terrible past trauma, and it made it impossible for me to trust him. That whole vicious circle caused us many, many problems, and perhaps became a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Funny, a friend of mine is falling for a guy right now and the warnings signs are loud and huge. The pattern is unbelievable; his attempts to justify a lifetime of awful treatment of the women in his life are incredulous. I don't want to be a total hag, but I really want to urge her to run and run fast. I was going to blog on it tomorrow.
Yes, I agree, men seem much more able and willing to just cut and run when the going gets rough. I hope you find someone brave enough to hang in there with you. As bad as my marriage has been at times, in the end I cannot imagine our shared history being gone in a puff of smoke. Altho I am not naive enough to think it couldn't happen just like that.
It does feel like just a puff of smoke. It all just disappeared. I thought he was my best friend, but he was not. I wonder now if he ever loved me, and maybe that was another thing about him that made me nervous -- just not ever quite believing he loved me for me and not for what I represented.
Anyway, on to cheerier topics!
Here's a cheerier topic for ya!
http://kennethinthe212.blogspot.com/2008/01/down-and-out.html
Novak Djokovic shirtless. Woo!
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