So on Thanksgiving, I recommended both my sister and my mother go see Michael Clayton, a movie I had just seen and loved. My mother loves George Clooney, my sister works at a law firm and loves thrillers. It seemed a no-brainer: Michael Clayton was a really good, suspenseful legal thriller starring George Clooney!
A few days later the accusatory call arrived from my mother. She had gone to see the movie and she hated it. She wanted me to explain the significance of a few fairly meaningless moments in the movie, bits that were just meant to provide some insight into the characters' mindsets and weren't significant to the plot. But it was her accusatory tone, as though I had done her wrong by recommending the film, that irked.
A week later she calls to tell me my sister had also been to see the film and she hated it too. By this point, I got a bit hot under the collar. "What is the purpose of this call? I didn't write the film," I snapped. "I just liked it. Maybe you should contact the film-makers." She got huffy.
Yesterday, my sister e-mailed me in a similar accusatory tone. She hated the film. Why did I have such weird taste in movies? (This opinion stems back from many years ago when I raved about that notorious dud, "Raising Arizona" -- still one of my favourite movies of all time). Why did I think it was good? I pointed out it was one of the best-reviewed films of the year according to that Rotten Tomatoes site and, you know, there's no real accounting for taste, is there? You like what you like!
Tell me -- is this normal behaviour? If someone recommended a film to you and you didn't like it, would you get in touch with them to challenge them on the recommendation?
I wouldn't. The next time I saw the person, if they asked me if I'd ever got around to seeing it, and if so, did I love it, I would be honest and say: "I didn't really like it that much, I'm sad to say. And I didn't really get this part ... what did you think was going on there?"
But I'd never in a million years phone someone up or e-mail them and give them hell for the recommendation.
It made me grumpy. Perhaps I am over-reacting. But if any of you out there go to see the movie based on this post, I will have a tantrum if you suggest I was an idiot for liking it.
18 comments:
I loved Raising Arizona - what IS their problem?
I now give people my opinion with a disclaimer. Its an out.
I cannot believe they were mean about it though?
That's my female relatives!
It's why I was closer to my late father and my (still breathing) brother.
How can you not love Raising Arizona? That dog chase scene alone is a scream, and those babies. I loved that film!
Loved Michael Clayton and recommended it to everyone I know. So far, no one's gotten back to me to tell me they hated it.
George Clooney + thriller = Jack Bauer league
Didn't go for Raising Arizona though.
And yes, I would probably tell someone if I hated the film that he or she had recommended.
But I learned a long time ago -- way back when my BFF didn't fall in love with Holden Caulfield -- that there's no accounting for people's tastes.
I'd tell them too if they asked, but would you phone someone up and say: "I hated that movie and why did you tell me to go see it?"
I mean I can see if it was something horribly offensive, like I'd heartily recommended they go to a slasher film or a porn movie, but a well-reviewed Clooney flick?
"Raising Arizona" rocks!
But that is not a shared view amongst my circle...many of whom loathe it.
And opinions regarding Oscar- winning "Crash" are still causing ruffled feathers in my family...
Some movies are like that; people either love 'em or hate 'em.
I'd never get annoyed with someone over a recommendation that didn't work for me, though...
Crash = banal beyond belief + morally obtuse
No Jacy, I wouldn't phone them up to give them hell. I would wait until we got together for alcoholic beverages and then say something like, "What's up with you liking xxxxxx?"
there are so many things my female relatives have done/said/thought that I have grown tired of figuring them all out...... I am a little relieved that it is not jsut my family......
I LOATHED Crash, and many people I know loved it.
I still don't understand it, but I don't hector them for liking it either.
Just to clarify, I enjoyed crash but I was put off -- horribly put off, in fact -- by it's moral relativist message that we are all racists deep down. Because we are NOT all racists deep down.
That is EXACTLY what I hated about it too. Just drove me crazy on that front.
And that scene where Sandra Bullock is saying the most racist things about Mexicans while the Mexican guy is 10 feet away from her fixing something in her house? So ridiculous.
Haven't seen Michael Clayton yet; can't wait to see it.
My husband and I LOVE Raising Arizona -- definitely one of our favourite films. Yes, the dog-chasing scene is a scream. We got my mom to watch it with us on video the last time she was here. She loved it too. So now she wants the Coen Brothers DVD box set for Christmas.
Seems like odd behaviour to me, to respond like that to a film. It's like they are taking your praise of the film personally. I've had similar experiences with my in-laws, who seem to take it as a personal insult because I don't like 'The Amazing Race', or any reality show, really.
And yeah. 'Crash' sucked.
I rarely recommend movies because everyone says I have 'weird' taste. I do enjoy getting recommendations from those same types though because it reinforces my notion that I have exquisite taste. I never get enough of that.
Raising Arizona was great, but the Coen brothers seem to be very polarizing. I love O Brother, Where Art Thou? and my mom thought it was ridiculous.
The newest one is supposed to be a masterpiece and everyone is suggesting it could win best picture.
I loved the very first Coen Brothers movie, Blood Simple. It was unbelievably good, gory and tense ... you just didn't know what would happen next.
Michael Clayton is the kind of movie that, for want of a better term, stupid people hate. There are some details never explained, the beginning is disjointed, and it generally requires the audience to pay attention.
Personally, I thought it was great. People who get mad at you are probably deflecting their own insecurity.
I actually think you're right. There were a few bits that really just had to do with getting deeper into the heads of the character and not at all to do with the plot. Those were the bits that infuriated my mother and sister, because they had nothing to do with the plot and they assumed every scene had to advance the plot.
I agree with Landru. It's also possible that something else was making Mom and Sis irritable and feeling wrong, but rather than address the real issues, they decided to take it out on you. Not very fair, but typical of most people.
Raising Arizona - Enjoyed it, but don't remember it very well. I love Coen Bros. films!
Crash - I thought it was okay, and I could see why it pissed people off. My theory is that it won the Best Picture Oscar because white guilt will trump homophobia in Hollywood every time. (Brokeback Mountain was the other big contender that year, for those who don't remember.)
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