So today an old friend from public school who I always had great affection for tracked me down despite the crazy-ass pseudonym and matching headshot. This is because he saw me in my oldest girlfriend's Facebook friends list and figured it was me. Yes, this guy -- let's call him Bradley Yamamoto -- remembered my sense of humour more than 30 years later.
I went to the whitest schools in the city of Toronto and Bradley Yamamoto was one of the only Asian guys in attendance. And he was hot. All of my girlfriends and I, including the lovely Fritzi, had secret crushes on him. For years, in fact, Fritzi and I have had Bradley on our list of hot/smart/cool guys we should have pursued in high school but were too frightened to do so.
In all honesty, I was too intimidated by his looks and his brains to ever tell him that I wanted to be his girlfriend. But he lived right down the street from me and I often walked to and from school with him, and we had long and interesting talks about life as we walked. And I still remember how good he looked in his tight jeans, I am somewhat embarrassed to admit.
So it did not come as a surprise to me that he had words of wisdom for me when we were catching up today. He went through something very similar to what I've been through the last couple of years and has now remarried and is very happy and settled and has figured things out, things that took him years to confront and to stare down. In just a brief exchange, Bradley Yamamoto gave me a little pep talk that made me remember why I always liked him so much. It also made me realize how you really can see the true soul of a person from a very young age (which makes my heart soar because both my children have very kind hearts and have since birth.) It might be almost 25 years since I last saw or spoke to Bradley, but he is still the wise and smart and sensitive and kind-hearted guy that he was as a young kid.
And, as loathe as I am to admit it, I would never have reconnected with him again if it weren't for that m&*(*@fu(&!^@ Facebook! Touche, Facebook lovers!
12 comments:
You and Microsoft -- on the same page!
How cool that you two reconnected, and that Mr. Yamamoto could give you advice from the other side of this. Bummer that he's remarried, though.
Still not gonna Facebook it.
I hear you, Beth. It is the ONLY positive experience I have had. I would never go in there under my real name because for every Bradley Yamamoto, there are about 25 people from public school who I do NOT want to hear from.
Nice story! :)
If you do delete Facebook in the future, you have at least something positive to take from it.
And hey, you did know about the block list, right? Those 25 wouldn't be able see you're even on Facebook! I sure wish I'd known about it before all my relatives came crashing in.
Damn that Yamamoto and his ageless perfection. At least when old "friends" find me they're all disgusting pigs and I can flounce away, tra-la-la, secure in the knowledge that I'm a bullet dodging genius
I know -- I finally figured out how to stop people from searching for me. But if you're in someone else's friends list, they can find you that way, no?
UP: Because he is now on my friends list, of course I went wading through his friends list, and through a friends list of one of his friends ... on and on and on, like walking through a maze ... but anyway, I found this girl who was the skinniest girl in high school who is now ... how shall I say it ... no longer the skinniest girl in high school. It's like she has quadrupled in size. Posing proudly with a drink in a coconut shell in her hand.
I laughed but felt sad at the same time.
But if you're in someone else's friends list, they can find you that way, no?
Hmmm, yes apparently.
If you block someone, they will not be able to search for you, see your profile, or contact you on Facebook.
Which I guess means they can see you. So! It would have helped me, as my cousins have no people in common with me, but would not have helped you, if the people want to find you that way.
Then again, no one I disliked in high-school (ie the popular crowd who hated me first, as I was Super Dork) has tried to contact me (why would they?) so I'm not too concerned.
There is a "toxic friend" type that is still in contact with the people I'm still in contact with from high-school (hello, did that make sense?!) but she knows better than to try and play nice.
And I'm way cuter than her now.
(Hey, I did mention I was shallow, did I not? ;)
Sorry, deleted and reposted due to number and silliness of typos.
You can adjust things so that only YOUR friends can see you and not friends of friends, etc.
Also be very careful of the networks setting because sometimes the entire Toronto network can see all your photos.
This is what happed to the university Prez we mentioned last Facebook post.
My thirtieth high-school reunion is in three weeks. I'm not going. I've kept up with the seven people I care to keep up with. I have enough of those lame-os e-mailing me via Classmates.com.
That's how I feel, too. You keep in touch with the people you want to keep in touch with. I don't want to be pursued by Ruth from my Grade Seven home economics class.
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