I suppose I should have reserved this rant for Tearfree's plea for rants earlier this week. But I was too busy defending Rico Suave.
But I have always had trouble understanding grown adults who get all uptight about their birthdays. I don't mean uptight as in "oh no, I'm aging." I mean uptight as in: "How dare you didn't remember my birthday?"
I have an adult friend whose 44th birthday I forgot this week. I realized a couple of days later, gave her a "happy belated birthday" shout-out in the office and was met with withering contempt. I know her well enough to know that she's pissed I forgot. Even though, when I thought back, I remembered I didn't hear from her on my birthday, and I did not care! Why? Because who does care once you're beyond 25 or so? I honestly don't. If I'm involved with someone romantically, and I pick up his underwear and tidy up after him and service him in other loving ways all year, then yes -- do me a favour, take me out to a nice place for dinner or give me something sweet and sentimental like a framed photo of my kids or the cover of a book that I love or some Roger and Gallet soaps. Flowers and a neck massage will do just fine as well.
This year was a great birthday -- I spent it topless on a beach in Barcelona drinking champagne with Fritzi, and I didn't hear from a single soul except a dear friend who managed to get a fruit basket delivered to our hotel room. And that was just fine by me.
Is it not childish and weird to be in your 40s and still expect your friends to go all out on your birthday? I just don't get it. Isn't that for 12-year-olds?
The other thing I find laughable is when people get all excited to discover someone's birthday is the same as someone else's birthday and that there is something meaningful in the discovery. I am not a mathematician, but with only 365 days in a year, isn't it quite likely that you'll meet people or know people who share birthdays? I personally know about seven or eight people born on March 10th -- my sister's birthday and Fritzi's sister's birthday -- and about five or six on January 30th, my brother's birthday.
I once had a boyfriend whose father's birthday was my mother's and whose mother's birthday was my father's. Yes, it was weird, and we did compare their personalities. It might have been really weird if the years had been the same too. But did we think that odd coincidence signified any kind of meaning to our union? Did we think we were "meant to be" because of it? Uhhhh .... no. Because we weren't teenaged girls poring over our horoscopes and playing Ouija board either.
That is my belated rant.
9 comments:
It is sort of narcissistic.
When you have to buy gifts for those people it's even worse. What the heck do you get for a 80+ year old who has the time and the means to get whatever she wants herlself, yet expects cards and gifts on her "special day"?
Flowers seem to do the trick.
If you think you know some birthday obsessed people, try living in Germany. The Germans make an unbelievable deal of adult birthdays. It never failed to amaze me.
One good thing though, in Deutschland, you're responsible for providing your own birthday cake. That's a custom, I would vote to adopt.
On a personal not, my Bday is right around labour day and very inconvenient so I never cared if people forgot/missed it, etc.
But then I'm very unsentimental overall.
try having a birthday around xmas...very few people remember my birthday, and i'm good with it, esp since some people who remember it give me crappy boxing day sale items, that i have to regift or dump in the sally anne bin the next day. a nice card, a gourmet coffee or a lunch are all some of the best gifts i've received, and of course the day off since i'm lucky enough to have that time of year off in my job...
Fritzi is German and she has a bday right around Christmas, which sucked for her as a child, but she is very un-German and adult about it now.
And by the way, Fritzi ... sorry about last year. My life was falling apart. This year will be different!
hmm, i think Fritzi should post about this issue; i bet i would identify with her musings...
Having your birthday around Christmas teaches you not to make that big of a deal out of it. You can never have a party on your actual birthday and everyone is cranky and pissed because it is yet another present they have to buy. Most of the time you end up with the two for one or combo present, birthday and christmas together. You learn that if you want to make something of the day, you have to make it happen, which I think is the way to go for adults. I always take the day off work and do what I want. I went to New York for my fortieth for that reason.
I don't know any Germans that are big birthday people. But they do love to party. I've always been satisfied with a disgusting Celine Dion egreeting and a sleep in.
Yup I know these birthday people. Every year there must be the phone call during the day, not to mention the birthday party someone has planned that we must attend and since it's usually at a restaurant you have to pay for your own meal and drinks as well as a gift.
Me? Eh whatever, just another day. If you got me something that's cool, I'll get it next time I see you.
I'm German and no one German I know ever makes a big deal about birthdays. They eat cake and drink a lot every day of the year -maybe that's why RTK thinks they're always celebrating??
I agree with everybody who says you have to make your birthday special yourself -- go away, take the day off, throw yourself a party, whatever makes you happy
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