I am in a cranky mood today and people are bugging me. Here is a list:
1. People who use the expression shits 'n' giggles. I don't know why, but I really hate that expression.
2. My friend Mitzi, who once again has suggested I date a total loser. This time a pockmarked failure who keeps getting fired. I have told her, again, that I find her suggestions for me insulting -- first a profound alcoholic, then a wall-eyed thug, now an unemployable former acne-sufferer who is renowned for being a terrible dresser to boot. "A little hotness, please," I ordered her. "Think Mark Ruffalo, Aaron Eckhart, or even Gabriel Byrne. I'll take old, as long as there's some hot."
3. Facebook mentalcases. I find I am using my Facebook account merely to spy on grown adults who are completely insane Facebookers. Mitzi's younger sister, never playing with a full deck, is a frequent source of mirth and horror. She is 41 years old and updates her status several times a day in excruciating detail. Who does she think cares, I wonder? Another sort-of friend, also well into her 40s -- actually a friend I am in the process of slowly dumping because she is just too high-maintenance and nasty -- has started adding self-portraits to her Facebook page posing as though she's on America's Next Top Model. It is deeply, deeply disturbing. And now she has posted a picture of me on her site against my wishes, and refuses to take it down. I regret sending her a photo from my vacation.
4. And this is connected to Point 3 -- friends who have to out-do you in misery. You say you're tired and working too hard, they reply you can't possibly work as hard as them or be as tired. Your breakup has been terribly painful? Not as painful as their breakup from that prick so-and-so who did this-and-that (repeat same stories told possibly 50-60 times over the past few years). You are worried about a health ailment? Can't be as bad as her thyroid condition. You get the picture. This is why the aforementioned friend is being turfed. In fact, it's a tendency I really despise in people that I have noticed before. What is wrong with just saying to someone: "Wow, that's too bad. Is there anything I can do to help or to make you feel better?" What is the psychological damage of someone who must always be the most miserable?
5. Anyone who keeps saying how fat Britney Spears is. Yes, she is a mess and her VMA performance was a disaster. And no, she didn't look the way she looked when she was 18. But she is not fat.
9 comments:
Britney looks fantastic. It's creepy that anyone thinks she's fat...Why is no one saying that Posh looks like a lunatic with the concrete tits and the c*cksucking pout she's always sporting?
I agree with all your other points, too.
Crankypants!
Yeah, duuur, I wish I could look "fat" like that, it would make my day.
And hey, posting a picture of you and not taking it down when you say?! That's really dicky.
TanyaE. Don't you think that her hair is great though? I want to get that cut.
The friend who always has to have it worse than you: they have to be the "biggest" victim. That is how they see themselves. They will even set up situations and seek relationships that perpetuate this feeling of victimization. You can see it happening now the way that she is alienating you. It will eventually lead to the breakdown of the relationship. Then that will be another bad thing that has happened to her. The degree of self absorption with her and Mitzi. One has to have everything about her and the other everything for her. From the Britney's song, who I think looks great, "toxic". Narcissists!
You are so right, Fritzi. Mitzi is a fairly non-toxic narcissist, but the other? A totally toxic narcissist who really does indeed thrive on being the victim. The list of people on her hate list is long, and it's always people she feels have grossly insulted her by rejecting her. Yet she drives people to reject her.
I'm going to defend the Posh Pout for a second here: I saw her on some talk show or another, and they showed a picture of her smiling, and... it wasn't good. She laughed and said "Yeah, and people wonder why I pout all the time." I feel the same way, Poshy. Sometimes, you'll get a grin out of me, and nothing more.
Toxic people need to be cut, and sooner the better. Take it from someone who let a certain toxic friendship go on way too long.
Facebook is my crack. :(
You are right, Panic. And it is a toxic friendship -- any time I spend even an hour or so with her, she says something hurtful or makes me feel bad about myself in some passive-aggressive way. And she's very competitive with me and I just find it so high school. Who treats their friends as their rivals?
I am not even sure she knows she's doing it, but it's friendship that hasn't been good for me in many years, which is why I am slowly but surely cutting the ties.
Facebook is addictive when you find some insane people's pages, I grant you that. But I honestly find the whole thing so stupid for anyone over 25. Please forgive me!
It is not easy to break up with a female friend. We all know how to do it with a boyfriend. But somehow platonic friendships are supposed to be so sacred, we're supposed to keep them for life no matter what. Not me, though.
Several years ago I suddenly and drastically broke up with a friend, and it was the best gift I could have given myself. This friend had really always been my frienemy. The subtle insults. The one-upping. The outright denial/dismissal of anything positive going on in my life. The overt bullying. "Jokes" at my expense, etc. The worst part were the changes I saw in myself; paranoia and intense anger for days after seeing this person. I think there are probably people out there who could have gotten along with her by letting more roll off their backs. I wanted to shrug it all off. But it turned out that I couldn't do it.
One day I explained all the problems to her in a lengthy missive. There were a few back-and-forth skirmishes of the, "it's all in your head" variety on her part, and then it was over. Then I realized that although in the past I would have felt guilt for not being the bigger person, this time I felt glee for being the smaller person. I was like, "YES, now she knows exactly why I don't like her anymore!!!!!!!!!" It was very cool - instead of being the walked-on nice girl I got to be the bitch for once. There is loss, but the gains out weigh the losses by quite a bit.
Now she is moving on with her life and I feel sort of a grand feeling of compassion and hope for her that she can build something good. The only stipulation is that I will not be a part of it. I admire her from afar, the way I would imagine a parole officer feels when they seem some ex-convict starting a new life. You are pleased for them, but you are also happy to keep your distance. The rage is gone and I have peace.
Yeah, platonic friend break ups. Hard to do, but in certain cases, oh so necessary.
Sounds like my marriage breakup in a lot of ways. Though he would argue I was the mean girl, and I would argue he was.
Hey Anon,
Sounds a lot like what I went through. So close to it, it's scary. She'd always said I was crazy when I called her on her bullshit, and I'd always back down. This time, I said it straight out, confronted her with exactly what had been going on, and I haven't heard a peep since. Which is good. She was lying about me, in really strange ways, which was the straw at the end. Very odd.
Jacy,
I'm almost 32, but I'll cop to being totally immature in some ways. :)
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