Yesterday I started up a Lavalife profile for the sleaziest man imaginable, drawing on my and Fritzi's experiences with bad men and even on some of RTK's loyal readers and what they had to say about deal-breakers a while ago.
To summarize, the man we invented proudly advertises himself on Lavalife as:
1. A hideous-looking man who possesses a jazz patch and is balding.
2. A chronic philanderer who jumps from woman to woman to woman.
3. A heavy and abusive drinker.
4. An egomaniac.
5. A lover of wood-working, game hunting and figure skating.
6. A "new age" religion guy.
7. A chronic premature ejaculator.
8. A liar.
9. A man who needs to be in love at all times.
10. A Facebook/MySpace addict.
11. A man who demands perfection from his women: no flaws, no mistakes, no past.
12. A man who describes all previous wives/girlfriends as "psycho" -- he was merely a victim.
13. A guy whose favourite date involves talking about himself, his accomplishments, his experiences, his opinions and doesn't want to hear about anyone else's, especially his woman's.
And guess what? Women have responded! A half-dozen desperate dames have sent messages to our demon wanting to get to know him better. Some of them are even relatively attractive. Some say things like Annabelle79: "Everyone makes mistakes. I bet I am the woman who you've been waiting for! You just haven't met the right woman yet, and I'm her!"
Rest assured we are not responding or leading these women on in any way; we are simply ignoring their come-ons.
But it just goes to prove my theory that no matter how checkered and suspicious a man's past is, there is a desperate, needy woman who will suspend disbelief and willingly buy into the crap that he's shovelling. I am not sure a similar woman's profile would attract much interest except for horny creeps who just want to get laid.
All our demon's profile lacked was an admission of rape, pillage, homicide and thieving. And even then, I think someone might have shown an interest. Paul Bernardo gets love letters in prison, after all.
8 comments:
Oh that is just deliciously evil!! I love it!
Billy Bob Thornton! Perfect! I have a feeling he is everything you just described.
You forgot to add dog kicker!
Oh man.
But it's true that there is always someone that thinks they can be the one to change or fix the other broken person.
Whenever I hear a person complaining about something, I always say, "Needs are being met." It might not be what we would want, but there is a reason why people stay.
Wow. Funny and depressing at the same time.
Some women are attracted to the Billy Bob types because they believe that they will gain power by saving this man. Basically the thinking goes, "No woman in her right mind would want this guy, and he must know that. So if I choose him, he will feel such gratitude and loyalty to me that he will be mine forever. Then he will make it all up to me big time, once I heal him!" In a way, it is a bit of a power trip; trying to make someone owe you so big that they will never leave you.
The sad thing is, many men can and do take all a woman's time, effort, love, nurturing for years, and never feel the slightest compunction to pay her back. The man's thinking is, "Hey, nobody put a gun to her head - she wanted to help me pay my rent/raise my ex-wife's kids/reorganize my house/clean up my vomit," etc. He does not feel guilty, and if anything he loses respect for her, because he figures if she is willing to do all that she must not be worth much.
The unspoken contract that she has in her head (I will help you because you will some day help me just as much) does not exist for him.
I'm. I'm. Speechless.
And some desperate women are just so lonely and needy for someone to love that they will tell themselves that they just haven't found the right woman, that it can't have been him, it was all the women he chose.
Clue in, ladies, is what I want to say to those women. No matter how many sob stories he's trying to sell you on ... look at the pattern and CLUE IN!!!!!
I say that as someone who went down that path. The guy had a terrible reputation. Even his family was appalled by what he'd done to the woman before me. But I allowed him to convince me that he'd been terribly done wrong. And maybe he had. But the things that led the woman to do him wrong, I found out later, were major.
I wished I'd had a conversation with her before I'd taken the next step with him. I would have saved myself a whole lot of heartache and misery.
Signed,
Not Annabelle79, But Almost
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