Monday, September 17, 2007
Lavalife, An Update: There Are Desperate Women Out There For Every Sleazeball
Yesterday I started up a Lavalife profile for the sleaziest man imaginable, drawing on my and Fritzi's experiences with bad men and even on some of RTK's loyal readers and what they had to say about deal-breakers a while ago.
To summarize, the man we invented proudly advertises himself on Lavalife as:
1. A hideous-looking man who possesses a jazz patch and is balding.
2. A chronic philanderer who jumps from woman to woman to woman.
3. A heavy and abusive drinker.
4. An egomaniac.
5. A lover of wood-working, game hunting and figure skating.
6. A "new age" religion guy.
7. A chronic premature ejaculator.
8. A liar.
9. A man who needs to be in love at all times.
10. A Facebook/MySpace addict.
11. A man who demands perfection from his women: no flaws, no mistakes, no past.
12. A man who describes all previous wives/girlfriends as "psycho" -- he was merely a victim.
13. A guy whose favourite date involves talking about himself, his accomplishments, his experiences, his opinions and doesn't want to hear about anyone else's, especially his woman's.
And guess what? Women have responded! A half-dozen desperate dames have sent messages to our demon wanting to get to know him better. Some of them are even relatively attractive. Some say things like Annabelle79: "Everyone makes mistakes. I bet I am the woman who you've been waiting for! You just haven't met the right woman yet, and I'm her!"
Rest assured we are not responding or leading these women on in any way; we are simply ignoring their come-ons.
But it just goes to prove my theory that no matter how checkered and suspicious a man's past is, there is a desperate, needy woman who will suspend disbelief and willingly buy into the crap that he's shovelling. I am not sure a similar woman's profile would attract much interest except for horny creeps who just want to get laid.
All our demon's profile lacked was an admission of rape, pillage, homicide and thieving. And even then, I think someone might have shown an interest. Paul Bernardo gets love letters in prison, after all.