Monday, April 16, 2007

Defending Nine Gram Brain

It seems that Rebecca Eckler, author of Wiped! Life with a Pint-Sized Dictator, is dissing the delightful Nine Gram Brain today. So for all of you new visitors joining RTK for the very first time, and in honour of parodists and satirists everywhere, including the admirably anonymous winner of the Most Awesome Rockstar Mummy Blogger Contest, Tearfree offers you a new contest:

Fergie vs. Rebecca Eckler

Fergie: Goes on about her humps in songs and videos
RE: Goes on about her humps in books and newspaper columns

Fergie: Highly questionable musical talent, completely reliant on producers
RE: Highly questionable literary talent, completely reliant on editors

Fergie: Satirized brilliantly by Alanis Morissette
RE: Satirized brilliantly by Nine Gram Brain (who kind of looks like Alanis Morissette)

Fergie: Obsessed with brands, sings in My Humps:

They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Caring, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass in
Seven Jeans, True Religion,


RE: Obsessed with brands, writes on her blog:

I realized there were a few things missing, namely a Prada purse, a brand new Roots purse, a pair of Puma sneakers, in the last few weeks...
But then there was a film festival party. I had just bought a new Theory dress two days before this nanny came over.
Fergie: Despite skankiness still admired by weirdo fans
RE: Despite skankiness still admired by weirdo fans

Feel free to add your own categories in the comments



12 comments:

Kimberley said...

Beautiful. Really, one of your better posts.

Cruel to be kind said...

No wonder all these kids today are so misbehaved. Their parents don't know about tough love so how could they. Rock on.

Coral Fawn said...

Fergie is a beautiful blonde and Rebecca is a stunning brunette.

Long suffering toronto copy editor who knows what s/he's talking about said...

Fergie can't right.

RE can't right.

Tanya Espanya said...

I love that Nine Gram Brain! I can't remember now what it was like before I read this blog and NGB.

Maybe is Reckler trying to be all slackery and funny in her writing, but not in a skillful way, and her minions enjoy her writing because they're like that as well?

But what the heck do I know, I'm just a gorgeous hot yummy-mummy-to-be...

In fact, I'm already getting my lipo done on my hot-almost-skinny ass even though I still have 8 weeks to go because I want to make sure I fit into my Seven jeans when I leave the hospital.

;)

gifted typist said...

That is so sharp and
well-observed, TF.

NineGramBrain said...

You are so mean!!! And your just jealous of my success and my excellnt writing!!!

Anonymous said...

Nine Gram, you do look like Alannis but a bit like Fergie too.

The Photographer said...

Fergie: Apparently battles a crystal meth addiction.

RE: Apparently battles a mystic tanning addiction.

Fergie: Once got drunk and wet her pants while performing.

RC: Once got drunk and performed in a wet T-shirt contest.

Anonymous said...

Fergie's motto: Let's get retarded in here

Eckler's blogging motto: We're all retarded in here already

Kimberley said...

Shouldn't AnonyMass have weighed in by now to tell us to leave Icks alone? Where is she?

Anonymous said...

Satire? Please. You're giving NGB way too much credit.