For some years now, I've been reading stories about the supposedly horrible trend of adult children living in their parents' homes. It's a bad thing because
a) the kids are sponging
b) the kids are spending all their time playing video games and never clean up
c) the kids have McJobs instead of the real deal
d) the parents resent it and want the kids out
e) all of the above
Now I totally agree that I wouldn't want a sponging 25 -year-old child hogging the remote and expecting me to do the laundry and prepare the day's meals while he or she slept until noon, but frankly this does not at all relate to what I see of adult children living at home.
I know a number of 20-somethings who live at home because they are studying or simply enjoying the money they are earning in their first jobs. They do their own laundry, make meals for everyone, and get along well with their parents who like having the kids at home.
Why should they move out to live in some crappy apartment with a revolving roommate door? This idea that everyone must live alone for their twenties is a peculiarly late 20th century western notion. Time was and still is in the non-western world that you live(d) at home until you married and there was nothing remotely weird about it.
Isn't it just a little peculiar that in our supposedly greener society that we continue to encourage people to move out and waste enormous amounts of resources when it makes far more sense for them to stay home and share the coffee maker and the heating bill?
Quite simply there is no problem with adult kids living at home if everyone's happy. The problem is when the kids are complete slackers, the parents are exploited and the family's miserable.
If everyone's happy, it's a great thing, different generations getting along and sharing resources and each other's company. Putting pressure on kids to move out for the sake of it is just silly.
5 comments:
My 4 year old tells me all the time that she is going to live with us forever. I tell here that's fine, but she still needs to get a good job.
I grew up in Hawaii where it is very common for kids to live with their parents until they get married.
I think it's fine as long as they are not soul sucking-non laundry doing-sponges. I already have a dog.
Now that I am alone, I have serious panic attacks imagining the day my children move out. I never want them to move out. I'll be happy to do their laundry and make their meals for the next 60 years. However, I realize I am not well.
Re dogs, if the kids are at home, there are more people to walk them not to mention dog sitters during parental vacations.
My youngest son has lived with me off and on for years. Now he's sharing a house with his brother, wife and their kids.
You're right. There was a time when families stayed together. Not here, not anymore.
Jacy, I must not be well either. We have three generations in my house (counting my daughter).
Granny,
How do you feel about having the kids, grandkids and great grandkids around?
Do you like it or would you prefer they all just leave you alone?
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