Take the kids!

Vacation time is rapidly approaching and readers want some commonsense advice from Tearfree on what to do with the kids.

Do I have to take my kids with me on vacation?

Yes, you absolutely must take your kids with you on summer vacation. On occasion, during the winter, under the right circumstances, you may take a vacation of up to seven days without your kids as long as they are more than six months old.

Are there any exceptions to Tearfree’s summer vacation rule?

None, there is no excuse for not taking your kids on summer vacation with you. Why did you have kids in the first place if you planned to leave them behind while you went on vacation?

What if we rent a cottage with family and they offer to look after the kids while we, the parents, go away for the weekend?

A weekend away is fine, but you cannot take an entire vacation without your kids. There’s a big difference.

A long weekend?

Still fine, but, I repeat, not an entire vacation.

But kids are so much trouble?

Yes they are. And you should have thought of that before you had them.

Can I take my kids to Europe?

Yes you can but I urge you think long and hard about it. Back when I was the parent of a toddler I took her to Europe to prove my theory that you could do anything with kids as long as you were well prepared. I did indeed prove that you can do anything with kids as long as you’re well prepared but what I overlooked was the question of why on earth you would want to.

The fact is adults like to go to Europe to look at Frescoes, visit vineyards, see Roman ruins and eat three-hour long meals. None of these things interest anyone under 12 years of age and, frankly, even that’s optimistic. This is why there is really no point in taking little kids to Europe. They will not appreciate it. You will be frustrated. And no one will have a good time. Plus, you will waste a lot of money.

So where should we go?

PEI or whatever lake or beach or swimming pool happens to be near you. Rent a cottage.

What about camping?

This is a divisive issue and many people, especially Canadians, are in denial about their dislike of camping. Thus you have people who haven’t actually been anywhere near the wilds in at least a decade talking as if they're Pierre Elliott Trudeau, but I’m not one of them.

If you are one of the people who truly does like camping, go ahead but if you are like me and detest camping, do not under any circumstances allow yourself to be talked into it.

Why don’t you like camping Tearfree?

Camping is housework outdoors with bugs. There is nothing fun about doing the dishes in a trickle of cold water.

Also, I have grilled friends on what they do in their tents when it rains and they just say stuff like, “Oh, we always find something.” And then I say, “Like what?” And they answer, “Oh, something.” So, I still have no clue what they’re doing.

Will my kids really suffer irreparable damage if I don’t take them on vacation during the summer?

Depends on the kid, but even the sweetest natured children will repay you by completely acting out when you come home. Also, 10 years from now, they will dig out the pictures of their parents solo in Europe and ask, “Where was I?” and “How come there are no pictures of me making sandcastles on Cavendish Beach?”

That doesn’t sound that serious?

Sorry, when you dump the kids like this, you will get the relationship you deserve, something like Lady Diana and her mother, ie bad, really bad.

What about the dads? That sounds really sexist?

Daddy will get it too.

Shouldn’t everyone just do what works for them?

No, put your kids first. They’re your kids. You can have the weekend off. You can even take the nanny. But you don’t leave the kids behind when you go on summer vacation. It’s that simple.