On Friday, Tearfree’s daughter graduated from elementary school (public school for those of you that are curious about these things.)
We gave no presents to the teachers. What’s more, as far as Tearfree knowns, no other student or parent brought presents to the teachers.
This is the way things also were when Tearfree went to school. In fact, back then, you were instructed not to bring presents and the teachers were instructed to return them if anyone disobeyed.
The only time in her daughter’s seven years of elementary school and four years of daycare, that Tearfree ever brought a teacher a present was once when she gave flowers to the cello teacher at a concert followed by a party.
Tearfree does not give presents to teachers and, as a teacher herself, she does not expect to recive them. Teachers are public servants with ironclad job security and a way better pension than 95% of the working population. Here in Quebec, many of them retire at age 50.
Sure being a teacher is a tough job – at least in elementary and high schools – but there are plenty of benefits and presents from students shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, Tearfree’s students expect presents from her-—bagels for the early classes, a round of drinks at mid-term, and a party at the end of classes -- or else they will write mean things about her on Ratemyprofessors.com.
Tearfree’s no-nonsense parenting advice is “Just say NO” to presents for the teachers. Parents bring this nonsense on themselves and when it gets out of control, they have no one to blame but themselves.
Coming up soon: Saying NO to loot bags and planning a successful birthday party.
12 comments:
What's next? Presents/tips for the doctor, the dentist, the accountant?
You don't tip professionals. You tip people in the service industry.
it's all about keeping up with the joneses ... oh, that mother gave this much, so i am going out to buy something that is even MORE expensive. high school herd mentality. typical.
my son is graduating tomorrow and i have no plans to take a gift. neither to any of the other mothers.
As the wife of a teacher, I can honestly tell you that most teachers don't expect nor, want gifts from their students.
I have to laugh because at Christmas, we are just inundated with boxes of chocolates and little knick-knacks that we don't quite know what to do with. Not that the thought isn't appreciated, just that it's such a drain on parents' already overstretched budgets. We end up giving the chocolates to instituitions such as nurses' desks at hospitals to brighten their days. Otherwise, we'd both be 500 lbs every December.
If anyone really wants to thank a special teacher......send them a thank you note! That's what I have done with my daughter's teachers in the past and I also do it with my doctors, lawyers or nurses when they've provided some exceptional service. That's all that's required.
When is the birthday party post coming up? I'm looking forward to it... as we will not be taking twelve 4 y/olds bowling, pizza, cake, snacks, loot bags... for the paltry sum of 370 dollars... like the rectent party my child recently attended...
I was hoping for playing in the backyard, paddle pool, sand box... oodles of snacks and drinks and home by five.... sigh.
We always gave little gifts to teachers while I was growing up; I didn't think much about it at the time. This was only in elementary school, though.
My mother-in-law is a teacher, and I can tell you that 1. she doesn't get gifts from the whole class and 2. most of the gifts are not really things she wants anyway.
So will we gift to teachers (my children will likely go public too)? If it's a teacher one of my sons particularly likes - possibly. But I don't think it should be expected, and I don't think most teachers care for the little trinkets they get at the end of the year anyway!
I disagree. I have always bought gifts for teachers, and will continue to do so, unless we someday encounter a school has an explicit "no gifts" policy. I usually stick with a "thank you for being my teacher" card, handmade by the child, and a gift certificate for a bookstore.
It is not about "keeping up with the Joneses." It`s about showing my appreciation to people who matter in the lives of my family members.
i didn't mean you or any mother, l. i meant the person whose blog inspired tearfree's post. that was a definite "keeping up with the joneses" kind of thing. she did it just because other people did it, not because the teacher meant anything to her.
and i am wrong, really. i have given teachers who i've liked small gifts ... like home-made jam, etc. just little tokens of my appreciation that they can regift if they want.
and y'all have given me a good idea for tomorrow. i will get my son to write his teacher a card. thanks!
I think a thank-you note is a great idea. However, make sure your kid gives it after the final marks are handed out NOT before.
Whenever some student sens me an e-mail after classes end but before the final marks are handed out, telling me how great my class was and how fabulotastic I am, I am always deeply suspicious.
But the thank-you e-mails that come after the marks, now those are the ones I cherish.
We won't even get into the Rateyourprofessors,com ratings that take place after the final marks. That's a whole other blog post.
whatever happened to "it's the thought that counts"? since when are there rules about giving or not giving presents? presents are a token of appreciation. if someone wants to give a present who the hell is to say they can or can't? how can giving thanks - no matter what form/price it comes in - be the wrong thing to do?!?! i don't think people are generous enough these days. honestly. people don't appreciate/give thanks enough. geesh.
oh and ANOTHER thing - "you don't tip professoinals. You tip people in the service industry" - who died and made you the rule-maker of tipping? when i do a good job my boss takes me out to lunch or buys flowers. it's a token of appreciation. and i think that is so nice. and i'm a professional. however someone wants to show their thanks is up to them. don't make rules around this sh!t, it's really annoying.
anonymASS:
two words: anger management
jacy that was a sweet f*cking movie. looove sandler. i don't need anger management when there is sunchips and blogging. suckers.
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